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[unrecovered]

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[goddamngrenades]

"She is not out of my league. We're on the same level! I'm totally as attractive and intelligent and-" yeah, no, he can't keep that shit up, he's not thirty with both eyes and a wire free brain anymore. "I still can't believe she said yes. I can't believe I asked her out loud. I can't believe you're not giving me mountains of shit for this yet."

He's kind of more than earned the right. Though the tracks throw him a little.

"Uh- for what? Was I particularly badass lately cuz I don't remember anything."

[unrecovered]

Wash keeps his arms folded and just raises an eyebrow as York tries to list his qualifications. "You're dating Land Shark, York. She'll eat you alive if you don't keep up." Azucar was willing to play dirty in a no-stakes popcorn fight; she will absolutely walk all over York if he gives her the chance, and odds are he'll roll over and ask for more. He'd always had a thing for dangerous women; evidently that hadn't changed. "And I'll give you shit after the date." It gives him time to come up with shit to give, for one.

"For the kitten." C'mon, York, keep up.

[goddamngrenades]

"She'll eat me alive if I'm lucky- and I'm kinda lucky lately so who knows?" Maybe it'll be okay. Christ he jumped in without weighing the odds at all and while that's not unlike younger Agent Fucktruck York it is very unlike paranoid hermit York and he's just gonna keep winding himself up over this, isn't he?

He is.

"...For naming DC? Man that was a civil requirement. Kittens just can't go around unnamed." Playing dumb is easier than trying to lie. Slightly.

[unrecovered]

Wash just shrugs in response. "You know how to pick 'em." Dangerous women. It's a pattern.

He's far less amused about York playing dumb. "York, I know you got me the cat."

[goddamngrenades]

"I got good taste." Dangerous people- Wash doesn't know the half of it.

"...apparently a signed ab selfie is not enough to keep someone quiet." Not talking about it- moving to accommodate the hands and pins. "You can have one, you wanted one, it'll be good for you- DC has been good for you. So. It made sense."

[unrecovered]

"You have dangerous taste, and you know it." He spent years pursuing Carolina. They're both well aware of how York's tastes run.

"Well yeah, you need to keep paying them off if you want a secret kept." Said like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Still, York went out of his way to get him a kitten, and DC has helped. "Like I said: thanks."

[goddamngrenades]

"I have a thing for people that are either emotionally unavailable or lethal." Sometimes both. "Things i'm trying to, you know. do better on. This isn't a date date, Wash. It's just- friends going out."

That he's handling with all the same seriousness as a 'date date' because it's the only way he knows how to do.

"...You're welcome."

[unrecovered]

Wash raises both eyebrows. "Okay, one, dating Azucar is not 'doing better' in terms of not dating dangerous people, and two, if you got a dress made for her, it's a date."

[goddamngrenades]

"I am not trying to get with her I am trying to distract us both from some recent trauma with a very stupid and mundane outing, okay? Okay." God don't make him spell it out for you.