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"It's not that long ago for me," she mutters, running a hand through her hair as she glares at the ground trying to organize her thoughts, "I'm not...It been hard not to think about the 'what if'. If we'd had that opportunity back then, how would things have changed..."

Would he have listened to her when she started having misgivings about the Director and the rest of Project Freelancer? If he'd had her back during that last fight she'd probably still be alive...or Texas would have killed them both.

In the past brings with it a cold little twist in her stomach as she continues to pace. In the past is where she should be, but instead she's here.

Edited 2017-07-19 17:16 (UTC)

"Don't." It's abrupt and a little sharper than Wash intended, but it's out there. Hopefully it rattles Connie out of that train of thought, at least.

"Connie, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the what ifs, and...I don't think I would have believed you regardless." It's one thing to know it after months and years of mulling over the situation; it's another thing to say it out loud. He takes a breath, lets it out slowly, and continues on. "I was naive, and still optimistic, and I needed what I believed Freelancer was providing." A chain of command that gave a damn. People who didn't reject him for his history. Fellow soldiers who weren't all going to die around him and leave him as the lone survivor. Funny how that had all worked out. "You did what you thought was right instead of wasting time trying to convince someone who didn't want to look past the surface."

Connie doesn't flinch at the word but she does stop pacing, closing her eyes as she listens. The facts were never going to be comforting to hear, but she didn't need comfort right now. She needed to be grounded. It still hurts but chances are it always will. Even off of the Leaderboard she wouldn't be enough; but all of the reasons he lists for why he wouldn't have listened are things she had rationalized to herself before. Why she didn't try to convince him further, or any of the others.

Her head dips in a nod as she sighs, feeling far too tired and isolated all over again, "You're right."

It looks like she can shake off the guilt more easily than Wash ever could. Good. Nobody deserves to deal with that. "I'd say being right sucks, but I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir."

He pauses, unsure if whether reaching out to her will help or just make things more awkward. After a moment of consideration, he lifts DC down off his shoulder and offers the cat to Connie. Kittens fix everything, right?

"Yeah."

The guilt will always be there but she can push it to the back of her mind to deal with later. She's done it before, albeit under different circumstances but...she'd manage.

The cat being offered to her earns a small snort, but she reaches out to scoop DC up into her arms all the same. Scratching under his chin she drops a kiss to the top of the cat's head.

"...It was nice, though."

"Kittens fix everything." Might as well put the feeling into words as Connie takes the cat. DC meows and presses his face into Connie's hand. Evidently chin skritches are welcome and appreciated.

That followup statement is...going to need some definition, to say the least. "What was nice?" And if he's hesitating a bit...well, this is still awkward, isn't it.

"I still can't believe you named him DC. It's perfect," Connie smiles as the cat leans into the touch. Don't worry little buddy, she'll give him all the chin scritches.

Really Wash? Connie gives him a bit of a look over DC's head.

"..It was nice to have the chance to be honest, even if it wouldn't have worked out in the end."

After a moment she looks back down at DC and gives the cat's tummy a rub as she adds, "And, you know. It's been a while since I had good sex."

"Would you believe York named him?" It really did fit too well for Wash to change it, and he certainly didn't have any better ideas.

He breathes a sigh of relief - a little too soon, as it turns out, and he splutters a bit at Connie's addendum. "Glad you liked it?"

...yeah this is why he has trouble dating people.

"I believe it," she chuckles, and at his sputter she can just about picture how pink he probably was under his helmet.

"I hope you did, too," she adds with a tip of her head, "and I guess this makes us exes, huh? But...still friends?"

C'mon Wash. Best get all the awkwardness out at once so they can leave it all behind together.

Pink? Try fire-engine red. "Does it count as exes if we weren't ever dating? Because I feel like it's more like one-time benefits."

...he just needs to tape his goddamn mouth shut before he says anything else stupid.

"Well when you say it like that it sounds like some sort of achievement," she snickers, spreading an hand in an arc like a banner as she adds, " 'Just this once - Fuck buddy' Unlocked!"

Don't worry Wash, she's got her own supply of stupid to drown out the lingering underlying feelings she doesn't want to touch on.

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