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"Observatory deck okay with you?"

It's not the most private space but...well, until they talk she doesn't think it's a good idea to ask him back to her biodome. The Observation Deck is quiet. Neutral. If more private words need to happen then they can move but this would be safest.

"We are not doing this in public." God no. "Can you come by my room?"

"I was thinking of it more as neutral territory. But alright, I'll be there."

Saying it takes only a little effort. Actually working up the...what would you even call it? Certainly not courage. Facing the shame, maybe? Whatever it was, scrounging up enough of it to actually get her to Wash's door takes a lot more out of her. Because at least one thing was certain; this was going to be awkward as fuck.

She takes a deep breath and gives the door a knock, sticking her hands back in her jacket pockets as she waits.

There's neutral territory, and then there's the knowledge that anyone could pass by and post what they saw and/or overheard to the anon meme. Turns out fans don't really care too much about their privacy, which means they need to take extra precautions.

It's a fair few minutes before Connie shows up, and Wash takes the time to straighten up what little is out of place in his room, disable the Reaper traps, and pick up DC, who climbs his chestplate and perches on his shoulder. At least someone here is happy.

Connie knocks, and he opens the door and lets her in, quiet until he closes the door behind her. "So," he manages after a considerable pause. Yeah, he has no idea how to start this conversation.

Connie ducks her head as she passes through the doorway and into his living space, glancing around the room as Wash closes the door behind her. He's in his armour again. Not that that should really be a surprise but it definitely indicates a bit of the tone that their Talk is going to take. Under the bulk of her jacket her shoulders tense when she finally turns to look at him.

"Yeah..."

She keeps her hands in her pockets, sticks to the middle of the room where things are more safe.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." It's hesitant at best. He's trying to find a way to get to the point, but honestly, there isn't really a good way to say we fucked and it was great but I kind of had to get over you a long time ago because you died.

So he reaches up to pet his cat and tries not to be too awkward about...well, everything. "You?"

She nods, turning a little on her heel as she starts to pace.

"Good. Fine. Can't stop thinking about it- Fuck, that's not what I meant," she bites her tongue as the words leave her lips, her face scrunching up in a wince as she takes a breath to try that sentence again. She takes a deep breath and for a moment she just stands there with her face in her hands.

"We...aren't those people anymore."

He actually feels a little better after Connie's slip-up, partially because it's nice to know he isn't the only one whose brain-to-mouth filter falters on occasion and partially because he can't stop thinking about it either. The sex had been good, regardless of the guilt now associated with it.

"We haven't been for a long time." It's stating the obvious, but right now, the obvious is a good place to start. "I don't know that I'd call it a mistake, but...it's in the past, and it should probably stay there."

"It's not that long ago for me," she mutters, running a hand through her hair as she glares at the ground trying to organize her thoughts, "I'm not...It been hard not to think about the 'what if'. If we'd had that opportunity back then, how would things have changed..."

Would he have listened to her when she started having misgivings about the Director and the rest of Project Freelancer? If he'd had her back during that last fight she'd probably still be alive...or Texas would have killed them both.

In the past brings with it a cold little twist in her stomach as she continues to pace. In the past is where she should be, but instead she's here.

Edited 2017-07-19 17:16 (UTC)

"Don't." It's abrupt and a little sharper than Wash intended, but it's out there. Hopefully it rattles Connie out of that train of thought, at least.

"Connie, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the what ifs, and...I don't think I would have believed you regardless." It's one thing to know it after months and years of mulling over the situation; it's another thing to say it out loud. He takes a breath, lets it out slowly, and continues on. "I was naive, and still optimistic, and I needed what I believed Freelancer was providing." A chain of command that gave a damn. People who didn't reject him for his history. Fellow soldiers who weren't all going to die around him and leave him as the lone survivor. Funny how that had all worked out. "You did what you thought was right instead of wasting time trying to convince someone who didn't want to look past the surface."

Connie doesn't flinch at the word but she does stop pacing, closing her eyes as she listens. The facts were never going to be comforting to hear, but she didn't need comfort right now. She needed to be grounded. It still hurts but chances are it always will. Even off of the Leaderboard she wouldn't be enough; but all of the reasons he lists for why he wouldn't have listened are things she had rationalized to herself before. Why she didn't try to convince him further, or any of the others.

Her head dips in a nod as she sighs, feeling far too tired and isolated all over again, "You're right."

It looks like she can shake off the guilt more easily than Wash ever could. Good. Nobody deserves to deal with that. "I'd say being right sucks, but I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir."

He pauses, unsure if whether reaching out to her will help or just make things more awkward. After a moment of consideration, he lifts DC down off his shoulder and offers the cat to Connie. Kittens fix everything, right?

"Yeah."

The guilt will always be there but she can push it to the back of her mind to deal with later. She's done it before, albeit under different circumstances but...she'd manage.

The cat being offered to her earns a small snort, but she reaches out to scoop DC up into her arms all the same. Scratching under his chin she drops a kiss to the top of the cat's head.

"...It was nice, though."

"Kittens fix everything." Might as well put the feeling into words as Connie takes the cat. DC meows and presses his face into Connie's hand. Evidently chin skritches are welcome and appreciated.

That followup statement is...going to need some definition, to say the least. "What was nice?" And if he's hesitating a bit...well, this is still awkward, isn't it.

"I still can't believe you named him DC. It's perfect," Connie smiles as the cat leans into the touch. Don't worry little buddy, she'll give him all the chin scritches.

Really Wash? Connie gives him a bit of a look over DC's head.

"..It was nice to have the chance to be honest, even if it wouldn't have worked out in the end."

After a moment she looks back down at DC and gives the cat's tummy a rub as she adds, "And, you know. It's been a while since I had good sex."

"Would you believe York named him?" It really did fit too well for Wash to change it, and he certainly didn't have any better ideas.

He breathes a sigh of relief - a little too soon, as it turns out, and he splutters a bit at Connie's addendum. "Glad you liked it?"

...yeah this is why he has trouble dating people.

"I believe it," she chuckles, and at his sputter she can just about picture how pink he probably was under his helmet.

"I hope you did, too," she adds with a tip of her head, "and I guess this makes us exes, huh? But...still friends?"

C'mon Wash. Best get all the awkwardness out at once so they can leave it all behind together.

Pink? Try fire-engine red. "Does it count as exes if we weren't ever dating? Because I feel like it's more like one-time benefits."

...he just needs to tape his goddamn mouth shut before he says anything else stupid.

"Well when you say it like that it sounds like some sort of achievement," she snickers, spreading an hand in an arc like a banner as she adds, " 'Just this once - Fuck buddy' Unlocked!"

Don't worry Wash, she's got her own supply of stupid to drown out the lingering underlying feelings she doesn't want to touch on.

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