Yours. [ His is, if not part of the problem, a reminder of it. ] I'll be over in five.
[ It honestly doesn't even take that long. he can run through the conversation with D in his head as many times as he wants but it still doesn't tell him anything new.
[Five minutes isn't enough for Wash to get beer, but he does have a packet of Chocos set out. There's a moment or two of silence after the knock - disabling the Reaper traps - before he opens the door and steps back, letting York in.]
"Hey." He waits until he's inside, perched in a chair, and slumped over without so much as a wayward glance to the cookies (ignoring sugar/food/booze = distress/turmoil) before coming out right with it.
Given that Oreos - spacefuture or otherwise - are pretty much freelancer catnip, the fact that York doesn't look at them at all means something is wrong. Wash takes a seat on the edge of the bed nearest the chair and looks at him. "What happened?"
DC, meanwhile, sees a friend and leaps up into York's lap, meowing loudly. Hey, your hands are free! You should pet him.
York buys himself a moment stroking DC's fur as he organizes chaotic thoughts. "I think...Sam tried to kiss me? And I froze up, he bolted and I don't know what the fuck I did wrong but it had to be something."
It takes Wash a moment to recalibrate - Sam means Locus, which means holy shit. Holy shit. This is delicate ground, and he needs to tread lightly.
Jesus.
"Well," he finally starts after a pause that's a bit too long, "has anything changed between you two recently?" Because last he'd heard, Locus was very firmly in I don't know territory, and he doesn't change without a hell of a lot of effort on someone's part.
"I don't know- we're bros. We're friends." That's, that's it, right? That's all it is and whatever latent Agent FuckTruck York thoughts RE attractiveness are just latent asshole tendencies he's grown past and not at all connected to the current situation. Right? Right. "He was little Sam and I was me, for the most part, till I was me back when I was in the UNSC but I don't think that changed anything- then, well."
He sighs, scrubs a hand along the back of his neck. "Fuck'n me from the beginning of the project had to come out to play and you remember that asshole."
Oh, hell. Yeah, that'd do it. "Oh, yeah," Wash deadpans. "I looked up to him for some reason." Which did neither of them any good, probably didn't help Sam too much either. "What'd you do?"
"I was a skilled asshole that was just charming enough to keep from being a complete douchebag. But I was still a dick." A beat. "It weirded little you the fuck out my being. Nice. Kind of a real wake up call."
A longer beat as, well.
this is the part that's probably relevant.
"...look I rolled back into being agent fucktruck york while half naked on a beach drinking a bottle of tequila with two attractive people. I did a dumb, is what I did, because that's all I did back then."
"Oh, I remember." Admittedly, in his out of place spacefuture memory, Weirdly Nice York had taken a backseat to everything that had happened with Connie, but it was still there.
For a moment, Wash sticks on two attractive people - who else? - before he fills in the blank and sighs. "Let me guess: the other person was Azucar. Did you kiss them or fuck them?"
"The pants stayed on, thank fucking god." By the grace of some kind of god but- seriously. "Bodyshots might've been involved, though."
So that muddies the waters in five ways he's not ready to look at but has to due to Sam making it a THING suddenly. "I thought I was on leave or some shit."
That answers some questions (and Wash finds himself grateful too, because those were potential details he does not need) but not others. "Okay, body shots and what else?"
"Making out. Maybe some butt touching- there was tequila and I wasn't exactly a moderate drinker back in the day. Trying to distract myself and drown grief does not a temperate Taylor make." Which led to more rather than fewer poor life choices but. Hey.
He's here now making brand new mistakes so that's gotta count for something, right? Right. "Clothes stayed on, no one got past third base. I apologized for this shit when he saw me earlier today because- he's. Touchy about contact and shit and he wasn't entirely sober either and I remember how damn squirrely he got when it was me and Azucar and all we did was kiss his cheek. So. I apologize because that's what you do, right? And it still all goes...weird."
It's still more than Wash would like to imagine, but at least they didn't cross too many lines. "What exactly did you say when he apologized, and what exactly did he do?"
"I mentioned younger him was adorable, he said he wouldn't say the same about my younger self because, well. Me." He flicks his fingers from DC's soft fur to his own face. Adorable isn't a word for Taylor Murray no matter the age.
Dumpster fire might be.
"So I ask if I apologized for it or not because, and I quote "Warning you that I was an asshole and being an asshole at you is very different." I had warned him." Apparently not well enough. "He goes all 'you regret it, then' and- that's complicated? And I try to explain that it's complicated."
Looking back now it's STILL complicated and hard to dig through the stupid shit he'd do and address the latent shame. "He said 'I maintain what I said before', yadda yadda, no Taylor you are a good people not a failure of a human being, etc etc' except. Monosyllabic and gruff. Things leveled out, I mentioned remembering him vaguely and that's when the lean, loom, almost but not quite kiss that's actually 'oh you have something in your hair' happened."
It all makes sense, in a time-travel-clusterfuck-involving-York sort of fashion, right up until that last part. "Hang on, he got all the way up in your personal space and said it was about something in your hair?" Wash shakes his head. "You and I both know he doesn't do that." Locus either says things point-blank or stares for an eon from afar. But he got that close, and only made a shitty excuse for it after York froze up- and he tends to put expectations on people and get disappointed or cut them off completely if they don't fulfill them-
Son of a bitch fell for York, didn't he.
Jesus Christ why does everything have to be so complicated?
"He said 'I thought I saw something in your hair' to which I respond, in my infinite wisdom 'uh, it's gel'. Because it is." because he's got one look that's worked for him since he graduated from basic and if it's not broke, don't fix it. There's a distinct lack of game (he's not sure he WANTS to have game in this instance) that mortifies parts of him that still cares about that shit.
There are more of those parts than he likes to think about.
"I know he doesn't but this is all- I did something, I tried to go back to 'hey lemme put on coffee and we can chill' and he bails like he found out I got the plague or some shit..." York sags, scrubbing at his face. "...he had this look. This- he's got no poker face. Can't hide a damn thing. But it was like I hurt him somehow."
For someone with seemingly boundless charisma, York is a goddamn idiot sometimes.
"Let me get this straight: he gets in your space; you think he's going to kiss you; he makes a shitty excuse; you make a shittier reply; and then you ask if he wants coffee like nothing happened." Why does he have to spell this out? ...probably because Locus is terrible at using his words and Wash speaks fluent Locus. Dammit. "Did you ever think that maybe he wanted you to kiss him?"
"No, why would he-" oh Jesus. York groans, buring his face in his hands like that will make this all go away. Grinding the heel of one hand against his bad eye lie it'll make sparks catch and work again, he mutters. "I thought I was too tactile with him, goddamnit. He didn't seem to mind and now I've fucked it up."
By being him, by being clingy and drapy and touch starved. "No wonder he's confused."
Wash just sighs. "Why do I have to have this conversation with everybody," he grouses under his breath before sitting up a little straighter. "Okay, but do you want to kiss him." He'd accepted I don't know from Locus, because Locus didn't know no-strings-attached affection from a hole in the ground at the time; York, who actually has something resembling experience in relationships, will receive no such mercy.
"It never occurred to me as something to want until he leaned in and then instead of 'oh yeah that'd be fun' I panic." He's still panicking a little, really. A lot. He's got issues that he's aware of for the most part and nearly none of them are directly connected to his love life which is probably fortunate for both him and whoever gets caught up with him-
If it were anyone but Locus.
"I haven't wanted anyone in a real way since- well. I resigned myself to Carolina being dead." And then suddenly this muddling mess of could've, would've, might yet have and he- he knows his luck in this area and his luck is shit. He could break him. "What was that thing you said about social inequality RE you and the chief? I don't think he's ever...done this before. And I really shouldn't be anyone's first go around."
It always comes back to Carolina, doesn't it. Wash can't really blame him - you tend to hang on to the last good thing you had before everything went to hell.
That said, Wash is not about to stand for York using his own excuses against him. "Okay, one: Chief probably has no concept of romance, while Locus has at least been socialized like a normal person. Two: Locus made the first move. You're not forcing a relationship on him if he offers first. And three: I'd think someone who's fucked up relationships, learned from it, and knows what not to do would be a pretty damn good option for someone inexperienced." Congratulations, your bullshit reasoning does not apply. Please hang up and call the object of your affections instead of him.
"...I don't know who you look at but while at one time, yeah, he knew how to do and he is slowly learning how to do again- Locus is still awkward as fuck. Words to explain shit do not come to him. We manfully ignore shit more often than not." And that- well. Probably has lulled Locus into the 'don't have to talk about shit' funk he's in that led to this moment. He's...dealing with changing gears in his head as to 'if this is gonna be a thing or not'.
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my place or yours
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[ It honestly doesn't even take that long. he can run through the conversation with D in his head as many times as he wants but it still doesn't tell him anything new.
Soon he's outside Wash's, knocking. ]
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Hey.
Phone tag means prose
"I'm pretty sure I fucked up."
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DC, meanwhile, sees a friend and leaps up into York's lap, meowing loudly. Hey, your hands are free! You should pet him.
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Jesus.
"Well," he finally starts after a pause that's a bit too long, "has anything changed between you two recently?" Because last he'd heard, Locus was very firmly in I don't know territory, and he doesn't change without a hell of a lot of effort on someone's part.
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He sighs, scrubs a hand along the back of his neck. "Fuck'n me from the beginning of the project had to come out to play and you remember that asshole."
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A longer beat as, well.
this is the part that's probably relevant.
"...look I rolled back into being agent fucktruck york while half naked on a beach drinking a bottle of tequila with two attractive people. I did a dumb, is what I did, because that's all I did back then."
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For a moment, Wash sticks on two attractive people - who else? - before he fills in the blank and sighs. "Let me guess: the other person was Azucar. Did you kiss them or fuck them?"
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So that muddies the waters in five ways he's not ready to look at but has to due to Sam making it a THING suddenly. "I thought I was on leave or some shit."
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He's here now making brand new mistakes so that's gotta count for something, right? Right. "Clothes stayed on, no one got past third base. I apologized for this shit when he saw me earlier today because- he's. Touchy about contact and shit and he wasn't entirely sober either and I remember how damn squirrely he got when it was me and Azucar and all we did was kiss his cheek. So. I apologize because that's what you do, right? And it still all goes...weird."
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Dumpster fire might be.
"So I ask if I apologized for it or not because, and I quote "Warning you that I was an asshole and being an asshole at you is very different." I had warned him." Apparently not well enough. "He goes all 'you regret it, then' and- that's complicated? And I try to explain that it's complicated."
Looking back now it's STILL complicated and hard to dig through the stupid shit he'd do and address the latent shame. "He said 'I maintain what I said before', yadda yadda, no Taylor you are a good people not a failure of a human being, etc etc' except. Monosyllabic and gruff. Things leveled out, I mentioned remembering him vaguely and that's when the lean, loom, almost but not quite kiss that's actually 'oh you have something in your hair' happened."
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Son of a bitch fell for York, didn't he.
Jesus Christ why does everything have to be so complicated?
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There are more of those parts than he likes to think about.
"I know he doesn't but this is all- I did something, I tried to go back to 'hey lemme put on coffee and we can chill' and he bails like he found out I got the plague or some shit..." York sags, scrubbing at his face. "...he had this look. This- he's got no poker face. Can't hide a damn thing. But it was like I hurt him somehow."
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"Let me get this straight: he gets in your space; you think he's going to kiss you; he makes a shitty excuse; you make a shittier reply; and then you ask if he wants coffee like nothing happened." Why does he have to spell this out? ...probably because Locus is terrible at using his words and Wash speaks fluent Locus. Dammit. "Did you ever think that maybe he wanted you to kiss him?"
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By being him, by being clingy and drapy and touch starved. "No wonder he's confused."
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Wash just sighs. "Why do I have to have this conversation with everybody," he grouses under his breath before sitting up a little straighter. "Okay, but do you want to kiss him." He'd accepted I don't know from Locus, because Locus didn't know no-strings-attached affection from a hole in the ground at the time; York, who actually has something resembling experience in relationships, will receive no such mercy.
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If it were anyone but Locus.
"I haven't wanted anyone in a real way since- well. I resigned myself to Carolina being dead." And then suddenly this muddling mess of could've, would've, might yet have and he- he knows his luck in this area and his luck is shit. He could break him. "What was that thing you said about social inequality RE you and the chief? I don't think he's ever...done this before. And I really shouldn't be anyone's first go around."
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That said, Wash is not about to stand for York using his own excuses against him. "Okay, one: Chief probably has no concept of romance, while Locus has at least been socialized like a normal person. Two: Locus made the first move. You're not forcing a relationship on him if he offers first. And three: I'd think someone who's fucked up relationships, learned from it, and knows what not to do would be a pretty damn good option for someone inexperienced." Congratulations, your bullshit reasoning does not apply. Please hang up and call the object of your affections instead of him.
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It's a gearshift. Delta is only helping a little.
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